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#1
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Last edited by sifuzhenz : 07-06-2006 at 03:03 AM. |
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#2
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Teacher asked her class to use 'definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." Teacher told her that she was wrong because the sky is grey sometimes. Then Jack raised his hand and said, "Trees are definitely green." Once again Teacher corrected her student saying that trees turn different colors with the seasons.
Little Johnny raised his hand, "Do farts have lumps?" he asked. Teacher said no. "Then I definitely s--- my pants." Last edited by zunzune : 03-21-2008 at 05:27 AM. |
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#3
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Quote:
Homer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens) called 'pullets,' and 10 roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Homer's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but one morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover. To Homer's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Homer was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No-Bell Piece Prize, but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention. Vote carefully this year...the bells are not always audible. |
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#4
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Like my cajun military buddy Lefleur said once to me "Pick Le Pullet" or "F**K THE CHICKEN"..
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#5
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How far is El Indio from EP?
__________________
*~Radical Dreamer~* |
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#6
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about 15-20 miles
__________________
Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak, and pray for strength to carry on. |
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